Psychos

Here are some of the finer points of this psycho:
-Used like 100 emoticons in his initial contact email to me
-Told me he was 40 and didn’t know how dating worked.
-Liked it when I called him psycho in the first few emails, then started to refer to himself as psycho….
-I stopped answering his texts, so he kept texting me like a good little psycho
-Then he pretended to “lose” all of his contacts in his phone and sent me all of the following
o “Who is this? :0 I’ve lost all my contacts on my phone :o(“
o “Dana?”
o “not talking to me?”
o “Merry Christmas :o)”
-Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I wrote him through the site and told him I had “met someone (lieeeee)” and that I “wanted to see where the (FAKE) relationship went”.
-He wrote me – ” no problem Dana :) its all good. Still love your sense of humor and we can be just good friends.” – But I DON’T WANT TO BE GOOD FRIENDS WITH HIM!!! MAKE HIM GO AWAY!!! He’s now programmed into my phone as “Psycho – do not answer”

It never ends.....

Today kingtutt wrote me a poem. He also has a fake picture up. He said to protect his job. He likes making things out of wood. He is also a dr (potential sugar daddy?, I just can't do it).

Anyhoo, here is the poem, enjoy!

This is for you...Take it as a hi or a little goodbye I have just wrote it for you. I am wonderful like a beautiful Bee, I like to taste the honey and the tea, I also like the beach and the sea, The sound of birds and branched tree. After all I am a beautiful Bee, and I know I can go anytime free. You just made me write it. I am happy you like it. I am true with the love basket. I can also sing with the trumpet. High from the top of a mountain or a little pulpit. If I have hurt you in anyway I have hurt myself, If it makes you feel OKay, feel free to throw me over the shelf.

My profile

I'm also pretty proud of my profile and wanted to share this as well:

I'm sorry but my computer crashed and I lost all of my overhead, lip pouting, cleavage pics. I'll have to take some more with my camera phone and post them later. Tanning is a huge hobby of mine. Maybe we can go in on an unlimited package together. I'm sure, whoever contacts me will have a ton of shirtless posed pics, I'm positive you tan too. Thats whats up. Bonus points scored if you're actually shirtless AT the gym! I probably have all these kids by different fathers that I won't tell you about until you come over and see all these toys laying around.

Enough about me. Let's talk about you. I'm hoping that you like to travel, and try new things, seems like no one likes to do these things on this site. I really hope that you're already married or in a relationship. Game on. Gigantic plus if you a sugar dadd..I mean rich...I mean uh nice, yeah, that one, holla!!!

But seriously guys (if you're still reading or even got past the pics) if you can't tell I'm kidding above, keep it moving, we probably won't get along. It'd be boring and so common to say I'm normal, looking for someone normal and obviously with an awesome sense of humor. I'm looking to meet someone cool and see where that goes. Yes, I'd like to find a soulmate. No, I won't give up hope. I don't know if this is the place for it but you never know until you try. Hit me up if you want to know more about the real me. Also, I don't have kids, honest, that's a friend's baby in my pic. The baby's not even asian, so seriously!

Cheating Apples

Here's a convo from gmail chat. I had started talking to this dude and oops, looks like his gf found out...watch your play boys. Names and details have been changed to protect the cheaters.

Me: hey. what's going on?
Him: nothing o you
Me: not too much. working.
did you figure out that site last night?
Him: im back on !
Me: that rocks! did u find that girl?
Him: nope and I dont care
Me: lmao
Him: hope your day is going well
Me: 2 questions. 1. what's up with the pic of the girl on your gmail? not judging, just askin 2. do you know how to text message pics from the iphone? can you?
Him: im sorry.. whos this?
the girl is ME his GIRLFRIEND.... WHOS THIS????????
wut got nothin to say now?!
Him: thought so...... next time watch wut u say unless u wanna say it to MY face and make sure u talkin to the person u lookin for... but ill make sure to tell DANNY u say HI later bitch
Me: oh. can you ask him that question about the iphone too?
Him: big mistake ,sorry for the trouble . i wish you well and take care . please do not hit me up anymore

Mullets and headphones

I was contacted by simplynice423 some time ago. His picture looked like he was wearing headphones over his mullet. I want to re-create our conversation, it was so good. Here's the convo, the the best of my ability to remember.

His initial contact email said something plain like: "hey, what's up".
Me: Are those headphones and a mullet that you're rocking?
Him: Mullet's went out in the 80's (where they every IN?!?!), and no, those are sunglasses on my head
Me: Too bad, I'm only interested in guys with mullets and headphones
Him: I can grow one for you and get headphones
Me: I couldn't reply to this one. It was too painful to read.
Then, recently I got this (this is actual correspondence):
Him: Yeah, you have some new pictures! Are you wearing a pair of Converse sneakers. Nice!
Me: U still rockin those headphones?
Him: If you want me too! What have you been up to? Have you been visiting Viagra Falls. hahaha (I have a pic of at Niagara Falls)
Me: Man. How did u even find me again? Go put up some pics of ur mullet!!!
Him:I have a ponytail now. And you not that hard to find! lol
Me: Prove it. With pics. And r u a stalker? How am I not that hard to find??

The saga will continue I'm sure....

Cheater at the Beergarden

I cheated on my boyfriend last night. I went on a date with a different boy to the beergarden in JC. Last night's date was good actually. I have nothing mean/funny to say about him. But still, I am a horrible, horrible girlfriend!! Good thing my stalker boyfriend called me last night to make sure I was home alone and to make sure I still wanted to hang out with him tonight. He's asked me this like 5 times this week. I should take the chance and say no. I think I like being stalked though.

Man Purse

A Moroccan came over on Friday night, the night before I met my boyfriend. He was born in Morocco, has also lived in Paris, Italy and Spain. He is very Euro. So Euro, he came in with a little man purse!! Nuff said.

My boyfriend's cats

My boyfriend has all these animals. He has 2 ferrets and 3 cats. One of the cat's is really sick and all mange looking. Thankfully his place didn't smell as bad as I thought it was going to.

So he calls me last night (like a good stalker boyfriend) to tell me that he "found" a 4th cat. I guess he was outside of his apt. building. He took it in. He kept asking me things. Like, should I keep it (as if I care), or what should I name it (again, as if I care).

I haven't had the heart to tell him yet that I really don't like cats at all. I've already told him that I'm more of a dog person. He has no idea the extent of which this is true!!! Thankfully his cats stayed hidden for the most part during the time I spent at his place. Hopefully this will continue to be the case. Maybe he can start hiding too!!

The Mall and The Motorcycle

This story is about one of my early dates. I hadn't talked to motorcycle (the guy) that much, he wanted to meet right away. So I agreed. He worked in Jersey City, where I live, so it seemed convenient. I was thinking a bar, restaurant, or Starbucks. He asked if I wanted to meet him at the mall. Weird. Right?!?! I thought so too but like a dumbass, agreed.

We met in the food court. It was pretty late and there was no one there. We didn't even eat. He got a water, I got nothing. We sat and talked a little bit. He showed me about 20 pictures of his motorcycle on his cell phone (are you getting the picture now?). Thankfully the mall was closing so we had to get out. He walked me to my car, we both did a "call me" and that was the end of that!

Looking back, I wonder if he was 1. under 21 (he didn't look it) or 2. mentally or socially something was wrong with him. I wonder....

Saturday Night

I first started talking to BF last week.

We had emailed back and forth a few times, he sent me his phone number. He seemed cool and was in love with my profile so I thought why not. Even though he claimed to be hilarious but hadn't said a single funny thing. I called the number when I got home...only to find out it was for some chick! Latisha!! Latisha didn't pick up but I did get her voicemail. She ended up calling me back....I was so tongue tied, I yelled out, wrong number and quickly hung up. So many thoughts were going through my head, one of them being, is this a joke? So I emailed to tell him, this number's for some chick!! He sent me another number, but I was too scared to call it, thinking it was some huge prank. I gave him mine and we ended up talking for a really long time. We made plans to hang out later that week. Things seemed normal.

Saturday came. We went to a bar, watched UFC (he claims he didn't plan this even though he's totally into and trains for mixed martial arts). It was a decent time.

Until....he breaks out that he really likes me, he wants to continue dating me, see where it goes, he only dates 1 girl at a time and would like for me to do the same. 1 person at a time?? So I ask him, are you asking me to be your girlfriend, to go steady? Awkward. I didn't end up answering and continued with the night.

Fast forward to Monday. He calls. He tells me he told his mom about me. I replied with a huge "WHAT???" And he reassures me that he didn't tell her exactly what we did but that only that he went on a date with me. Which I replied with another "WHAT...." I told him I thought this was weird. So the bottom line is that I guess I have a boyfriend now....