Killer Personality and Deep Pockets

I have a special double post for you today. I think I’ve snapped a little bit due to the snow, again. I got into work and decided that I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I posted the following ad on craigslist:

Wanted - A guy with a killer personality and deep pockets. Must be able to fund the lives of my friends and me with lavish vacations and relocation to a beautiful island where we can party all night and day. Let’s get out of the snow!!

Ten minutes later I saw I had my first reply in my inbox. I was excited, creating my resignation letter in my head, as my right index finger reached on the mouse to click the email open. I received this email:

What are you a fucking whack job? Who the hell do you think you are? Get a job!!!!

About an hour later, I received the following email from craigslist:

Your posting has been flagged for removal.

Continuing The Affair

Newsflash – the Married Guy texted me last night. (reference - see Feb 10 – “Married Life” and Dec 09 – “Cheater At the Beer Garden”). So this was a first. (His wife must have fallen asleep early or something, which freed up his night.) We went back and forth quite a few times, which is unusual for him. (His wife must have gotten in a fight with him last night before she went to bed early.) We had hung out last weekend and he wants to hang out again this weekend. I told him I had some up in the air plans and to give me a call to see if I’m around and we left it at that. Interesting. The saga will continue, I’m sure.

Love is….shoveling….?

I’ve fallen in love. It was a dark snowy, wintery day. I was at work. We’d been out a few times prior. He offered to come to my work, pick me up and help me shovel my car out. I gladly accepted the offer. The Fireman arrived at 3 PM, we had early work dismissal due to the massive amounts of snow that was falling. I went downstairs to meet him. I was so happy to have a ride, thinking how much better it was to not have to walk through the snow to get to my train, take the bus, then walk through the snow again to get home. My heart was already falling. It was a little scary driving, they hadn’t cleared all roads just yet but we made it to my place. As soon as we got there, I took the shovel out of my car and the Fireman went to work. Digging the snow out at an extremely fast pace, I realized at this moment, I am in love. I realized, I want someone to do this for me every time it snows. I want someone to do things for me all the time, in fact.

Clearly, because someone shovels my car out of the snow is an excellent reason to fall in love. Clearly.

I don't see you if you don't see me

I was taking the Path train home on Friday night and ran into someone that I had gone out with on one date a few weeks ago. We both pretended not to notice each other. Thankfully I had my cell phone game on me so I could turn my full concentration towards the game. He got off the stop before me and hightailed it out of there.

The date was ok by any standards. He actually has a job, some sort of engineer, has his own place in Jersey City, not with his mom, had more of a life than his job, had some key stories to tell the night we met that were non work related, but there were no sparks. I’m sure he felt the same way too. He was actually pretty boring. For a good part of the night, he talked about this girl that was his frienemy. She was his roommate in Florida, moved to NY, stayed with him for a little while, then she flipped out and thought he was in love with her (apparently she’s a bit of a drama queen). This went on for a while. I kept suggesting we get another drink but he was saying he was good, I didn’t want to look like a complete lush, next time I shouldn’t care as much how I look.

We did the “nice to meet you, let’s do it again” text afterwards but it was left at that. I believe we both knew we wouldn’t hang out again. And NOT seeing each other on the Path just solidified this.

The Boundary Overstepper

There’s another psycho on the loose, his name is Boundary Overstepper. Another guy that just doesn’t take a hint or know when to walk away. So I asked him, what is he thinking, what is going on in his head. As this little dating experiment goes on, I think I’m getting more and more jaded and less, um, what’s the word…nice. Sometimes I just can’t take it, I can’t help it, it just comes out.

So here we go. I started talking to this guy at the end of January, we had exchanged a few messages on the site, moved it to cell phone, he called once but I wasn’t around and he left a message, then I had to leave for South Carolina. I thought being gone for a while was a good way to clear some people out. And it was. But not for Boundary Overstepper.

Here he is with his constant texts. This is something I just don’t understand. If someone doesn’t reply to a text, why do people keep texting, as if that person didn’t get the text or forgot or something. Also, keep in mind that in between these texts, he would IM me every single time I signed onto the site, which I would also ignore. It got to the point where I was scared to even sign on and check messages! Finally, between 2/17 and 2/21, he IM’ed me and I asked him to back off. Obviously that didn’t help AT ALL:




Here I am being um, what’s the word, oh yeah, mean. And here he is coming up with excuses and lies, last time, yeah right:



He used his own language for this, “overstepped boundaries”, which clearly implies to me that THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE AND HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH THIS. It’s not me, it can’t be. Please don’t let it be me. Right??

Belated Valentines Day

Since Valentines Day was on a Sunday with President’s Day following I forgot to write about my awesome day. It’s one to be proud of. I had hung out at a friend’s the night before, we ended up drinking so I stayed over (I had driven there). We didn’t wake up until 1 or 2 pm, went to get Chipotle, and I went home with a stomach ache (thanks Chipotle). The highlight of the day happened next. Ready? Wait for it…..wait for it…..Ok, NOW: I watched Whip It on netflix by myself. I feel asleep around 9 playing this super fun game on my phone that I’m addicted to (Tap Tap Revenge 3) only to be woken up around 11 by this neurotic guy that keeps making and cancelling dates on me. Which leads me to part two…

When I first started talking to Neurotic, he seemed really funny. His actual craziness is probably why he has seems funny…at first. We had a second date set for 2 weeks ago. He called to cancel, didn’t really give a reason, and asked to reschedule. So it was rescheduled for the following Tuesday. The Sunday prior (V-Day) he calls. Wakes me up. Tells me he has insecurities (great). Something about he went out on Saturday night, he thought it was a good time, the girl came down with a headache. Which made him insecure about going out with me. Something about how he would have liked for me to reschedule sooner than a week from when he cancelled – hello crazy, what’s up? Keep in mind, HE IS THE ONE THAT CANCELLED ON ME ORIGINALLY. I basically talked him down from the ledge, told him to chill out, stop thinking about things so deeply, I’m not that girl, when we went out it was fun, blablabla, whatever it took to get him off the phone so I could go back to sleep, watch tv, or play my phone game. Tuesday comes, he sends me a text: “Between the snow and shame – tonight is not a good night for me. Hopefully you understand”. Here is what is going on in my head and what I want to say to him in my head – “go fix your mental issues and then come back and talk to me, you Neurotic psycho and I can’t deal with your insecurities at 42, I have my own issues!” There, just had to get that one out. Thank you for reading. He texted me last night asking me out for this weekend….

PS - I just think the picture is funny and gross but funny more than gross.

Always Practice Safe Online Dating

I decided to do some “research” for this blog last night. Meaning, it was time to respond to some of these winners. I was on the site, someone IM’ed me through the site, then all of a sudden I had some intrusive anti-virus screen take over my machine. I got a virus! Apparently I was not practicing safe online dating methods. I have no idea if it was the guy that send me the online STD virus or if I already had it maybe. I was so mad though! I had to call Dell and of course PAY to have them help me fix my computer. Lesson learned – always practice safe online dating. I just don’t know how to do that. Do they sell computer condoms at the drug store?