Dating Advice found on a profile

I came across this dating advice list. This guy had it in his profile. I thought it was hilarious and wanted to share. Sorry for the vulgar language. But enjoy!

1. Guys r trying to fuck u
2. This doesn't mean they won't later decide they want a relationship. Some marriages start from awful one night stands but no matter what he says or does on that date he is angling to fuck u
3. If a guy hasn't tried to fuck u by the third date he is either gay incompetent or it will never happen.
4. Notice I said try. You don't have to let him.
5. If you haven't fucked him by the fifth date he will either leave or is gay or incompetent
6. Everybody including you thinks black nail polish is ugly. Don't try to convince yourself otherwise
7. If you've been dating for many months and have never seen his place, he is married. No matter what bs excuse he says. Either enjoy him for him and/or move on. Why would he do that? See rule #1
8. No guys really like opera ballet or broadway or half the shit you and your friends do. A guy will do some of this stuff early bc of rule #1. But afterwards don't expect him to or torture him with it or he'll be gone
9. You may think how great it is that you love golf football and sportscenter and early on it may stimulate things but a man needs his own time and hobbies as well and the more u crowd him he will flee
10. If u order an expensive bottle of wine on the first date he will secretly hate you.
11. Guys don't believe in psychics and horoscopes. When you babble about that shit he will conclude you are illogical and a bit crazy
12. If you are offended by this list you are too uptight
13. Every person lies about something in their initial ad/meeting - forgive the little lies, watch out for the big ones.